Life After Wartime
by Kristen3
Summary: As the chopper pulls away from the 4077th, Hawkeye reflects on how his life has changed since he's been in Korea. One-shot. Written for Melinda (carylfan10).


**Author's Note:**I'm dedicating this story to Melinda (carylfan10) for her persistent encouragement. I've been a lifelong _MASH _ watcher, but I've never really written a fanfic for it before. I know that Hawkeye is a beloved character, so I sincerely hope I've done him justice here. This takes place just after the end of "Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen."

Hawkeye watched the letters on the ground grow smaller and smaller as the chopper took off. The final goodbye from BJ. He literally had no idea how he could've ever survived the war without BJ. And Trapper, of course. People said war was hell. Having lived through it, Hawkeye knew that that was an understatement. He'd spent the past three years trying to patch together unlucky soldiers so that they could return to the front lines. Sometimes they came back. Other times, they just plain didn't make it. It simply wasn't fair. So many innocent lives had been lost. Even those who survived wore battle scars. Not all of the scars could be seen, even in an X-ray.

But Hawkeye pushed those depressing thoughts from his mind. At long last, he was going home. To the United Sates. Crabapple Cove. When he'd first come to Korea, he wanted to turn right around and go home, never giving this war another thought. But now, that would be impossible. How could someone go through something as horrible as war and not be changed by it? At first Hawkeye had coped with the horrors of it with a mixture of alcohol and women. It worked, temporarily. But it certainly wasn't a cure. If it were, he wouldn't have spent so much of this war talking to the Army's answer to Sigmund Freud, Dr. Sidney Freedman.

At the 4077th, everyone found a way to cope, to stay sane under the most insane circumstances. Klinger tried to fake crazy, in order to earn a Section-eight discharge. And now, he'd married a Korean woman and chosen to stay in the country. Go figure! BJ reread letters from his beloved Peg. Hawkeye had never met Peg, or BJ's daughter, Erin, but he'd heard enough about both over the years that he felt like they were old friends. Not that it mattered, of course. Because, once BJ got home to the family he'd missed so desperately, all thoughts of his old buddy Hawkeye would disappear. Why shouldn't they? The last thing BJ would want to think about would be the war. Hawkeye was almost jealous. He'd give anything to forget.

Colonel Potter found solace in his paintings and his horse. Charles played classical music on his record player whenever he had the chance. Even Radar had found a way to manage by tending to local farm animals and sleeping with a teddy bear. Major Houlihan had at first escaped into the arms of the ferrett-faced Frank Burns. When that relationship soured, Margaret found herself a real military man, Lt. Colonel Donald Penobscott. Of course, that didn't last either. Of course, Father Mulcahy had his trusty Bible and his faith to see him through. Though Hawkeye had never had much respect for priests, he'd come to admire Mulcahy a great deal. The Father had done all he could for the 4077th and its patients. He'd gone far beyond simply offering Communion and saying Mass. When necessary, he'd actually saved a few lives himself.

If there was one bright spot in this war (and that was a pretty big _if_, Hawkeye thought), it was the people. Hawkeye had never seen much need for friends. If no one got too close, he wouldn't get hurt. Simple. Before Korea, most of Hawkeye's life had been focused on helping the good folks of Crabapple Cove, Maine. And, of course, having a little fun on the side when he could. But now he was wiser in some ways then he'd been before. Having seen how easily life could be taken, he understood that time is precious, and nothing is a given. One minute, he'd been celebrating the fact that Colonel Blake was on his way home, and the next, Radar was entering the OR to announce that the beloved leader of the 4077th had never made it past the Sea of Japan. Knowing that, how could Hawkeye ever live such a frivolous life of sex and booze again? Right now, all he wanted was a long nap in his own bed. After that, well, he didn't know. This would be another new chapter in his life, and he was determined to enjoy it.

**The End**


End file.
